/* by mrj */
“It’s hilarious when you finally realize how incredibly and arbitrarily fashion-driven tech is.
First everything was on the computer, then it was all in “the cloud.” Now we’re pretty close to realizing how epically dumb that is and flipping back again.
But hey, gotta have that hot new html5 app that “performs best in Chrome.” Just try not to think too hard about how we’ve come full-circle to MS Frontpage-created sites that were “optimized for Internet Explorer version 5 .”jQuery is really really cool. Everything else is utterly arbitrary and what is AMAZING today will be considered terrible next week when we all go back to the thing that was considered terrible this week.”
let’s talk about housecats and how fucking weird they are evolutionarily/anthropologically
like who thought it was a good idea to have tiny malicious predators in our homes anyways????? (not us actually)
are they even domesticated????!!!?? (yes) do they even feel LOVE???????!!? (yes)
LET’S LEARN ABOUT CATS
“you ready 2 learn punk”
“Women, and children, will never understand the depths of humiliation a bro plummets to after a failed high five. A failed high five cannot be undone. Science has confirmed that there’s a relation between successful high five percentage and the ability to father many children, though scholars still debate, causation or correlation?”
The idea of the Internet, and the world wide web, was terribly abstract, new, confusing, delightful. It made wizards of us that could navigate it. As a burgeoning geek in desperate need of a personal identity, this digital playground was an infinite resource to push against. Each chance encounter with an online stranger a blank slate. It was exotic and alluring and exciting.
During this era, a huge swath of us all were experiencing this at the same time. It was an overlap of our youth, the loss of innocence, and the explosion of this new universe. It was a hell of a drug.
And we got addicted to the newness of it all. There’s a word for this.
And this concept, I feel, best describes the ennui I have felt for years now, the booming homogeny the web has turned into. The web has long since succeeded, but we were children of the laboratory. We lost our home and we’ve been trying, in vain, to find a new one ever since. I can’t believe I am alone in this sensation.”
The “problem” isn’t CSS or browsers, or shivs / polyfills (well, maybe a little) but that somehow “the web” is the one place where designers are allowed to completely ignore the constraints of the format / media, and front end guys are supposed to be wizards; and if they fail, it’s *their* fault, not the designer’s.
[…] If a designer was tasked with delivering art for a billboard, and they produced a square piece with alpha transparency at 150dpi, would the printer be blamed if—after telling the designer this was not viable art to print on a billboard, and being told “just make it work!”—the resulting billboard looked like shit and wan’t see-through in the right spots?”
“I hate making HTML mails. I have always hated them. I will always hate them. I hate the clients that request them. I hate the project managers that approve them. I hate the designers who make them. I hate the 1001 email clients that have a 1002 ways to render the HTML. I will crush the designer’s hand that created that dropshadow effect around the rounded corner with overlaying ribbon. I will spit acid in the face of the project manager who said it could be done in an hour and then went home for the day. I will burn down the client’s agency building, and bask in the glory of their eternal screams.”
“Some commenters have brought up the Nice Guy Dilemma and here’s my take on it: Being a nice guy is not a competetive advantage - it’s the bare minimum requirement. Bringing it up is like applying for a job and boasting about your junior high diploma. Okay, so you’re a nice guy. Well, you’re not the only one. What else you got?”
- Interviewer: OK, one more thing for today. We’re using Rock 5.1 to bang nails with. Have you used Rock 5.1?
- Carpenter: [Turning white...] Well, I know a lot of carpenters are starting to use rocks to bang nails with since Craftsman bought a quarry, but you know, to be honest I’ve had more luck with my nailgun. Or a hammer, for that matter. I find I hit my fingers too much with the rock, and my other hand hurts because the rock is so big.
- Interviewer: But other companies are using rocks. Are you saying rocks don’t work?
- Carpenter: No, I’m not saying rocks don’t work, exactly, it’s just that I think nail guns work better.
- Interviewer: Well, our architects have all started using rocks, and they like it.
- Carpenter: Well, sure they do, but I bang nails all day, and — well, look, I need the work, so I’m definitely willing to use rocks if you want. I try to keep an open mind.